Firing an employee, telling a teacher that a classmate is cheating or arguing with a spouse about where to go on vacation are examples of uncomfortable conversations that will be discussed April 14 by a University of Colorado at Boulder law professor and expert in alternative dispute resolution.
"Difficult Conversations," a public training session featuring Associate Professor Scott Peppet, will be held in the CU-Boulder Engineering Center Complex auditorium -- room 245 -- from 6:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. Admission is free for CU-Boulder students with a valid ID and $10 for all others.
Tickets will be available at the door, but attendees are encouraged to RSVP in advance to clmp@colorado.edu or (303) 735-5945. Free parking will be available at the Regent Drive Autopark.
"The skills we'll discuss apply to any kind of conversation that people find difficult and would rather not have," Peppet said. "Examples are discussions with a roommate about who's going to do what chores, with a spouse about why every Thanksgiving is at their parents' house, or a talk with parents about moving to a nursing home."
One of the key concepts to remember in these situations, according to Peppet, is that what's not said is as important as what is.
"Often what gets us in trouble in these situations is we know what we should say and do -- we should listen, we should acknowledge. But in our heads we're thinking, 'What a jerk. How could you be so stupid?' You have to be thinking constructively about these conversations if you're going to act constructively," he said.
A graduate of Harvard University's law school, Peppet teaches "Legal Negotiation" at the CU-Boulder School of Law, a course that specifically deals with legal disputes and transactions but also covers the more general topic of difficult conversations. He also does corporate training sessions and consulting on the topic.
His presentation is adapted from the book "Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most," authored by members of the Harvard Negotiation Research Project. Though not an author of the book, Peppet was involved in its research.
The event is sponsored by the Colorado Law Mediation Program, a group of about 80 CU-Boulder law students and trained mediators. Effective communication in difficult situations is one of the group's core functions, according to Coulter Bump, group president.
"The 'Difficult Conversations' training is an effective program teaching communication basics, so we all know how to engage in those uncomfortable conversations with a boss, friend, co-worker, professor or anyone else," Bump said.
Bump, a second-year law student, founded the mediation program at CU-Boulder in April 2003. "The program recognizes the rising popularity of alternative dispute resolution in the legal field and aims to educate students about the method and to introduce them to professionals in the area," she said.
For more information on the "Difficult Conversations" event or the Colorado Law Mediation Program call (303) 735-5945.