Dear Faculty Relations - Everyone here is a gossip. It鈥檚 causing me to avoid the office. Is there anything I can do? - 顿颈蝉迟谤耻蝉迟蹿耻濒听

Dear Distrustful - Gossip is a human universal. It can be positive, neutral, or negative. If you have determined that what鈥檚 being shared is harmful gossip, nip it in the bud.听听

Eight tips to navigate negative gossip:

  • Stop gossip in its tracks. When what is being said is hurtful, malicious, disrespectful, etc., you might respond with the following:听鈥淚鈥檓 sorry to interrupt. I am not comfortable talking about XYZ.鈥� or听鈥淲hy are you telling me this?鈥澨�
  • Deflect gossip. You can also deflect negative gossip by offering something positive about the person or situation being discussed. Avoid being adversarial, as that could make matters worse. Use politeness and humor.听听
  • Address the gossipers. Speak with the perpetrators privately and tactfully use specific examples to demonstrate how the behavior affects and disrupts the department.听听
  • Change the subject. Redirect the conversation to a neutral topic. Weather is a good non sequitur.听听听
  • Redirect. If the person is complaining about another person, suggest they speak with that person directly to address their concerns.听
  • Model the desired behavior. When others around you engage in gossip, let them know you will not participate, change the subject, or excuse yourself from the conversation to send the message to stop.听听
  • Address the pattern. If it鈥檚 a pattern of behavior that is causing harm and becoming destructive to the department, address the pattern. Without placing blame, share the impact of chronic gossiping and point out topics that might be offensive.听
  • Elevate. Consider getting the 鈥渂oss鈥� involved. If the 鈥渂oss鈥� is the perpetrator, escalate to the next level. Leaders who support a healthy work environment should address the behavior and promote a positive culture.听

When gossip crosses the line from innocuous, garden-variety conversation to something potentially hurtful, harmful, or becomes a liability, it鈥檚 time to intervene.听

Written by: Elizabeth Hill, Associate Director, University of Colorado Boulder Ombuds Office, July 2023